...getting away...

AF is here. Came while I was at my last OHSS checkup on Friday. Good timing I suppose, since I was so worried I may have to wait again... I think this is one of the worst AF's I've ever had, and sure it's from all the medication, but I am very glad to have it. In the meanwhile I've just been trying to get away from all of this for a bit. In a very short time my life is going to change forever - one way or another and I just need time to cope with what is exactly about to go down. I don't have any details yet, but I have started back on birth control, and I expect to start the injections again in a week or so... but for now - I just need to be me, I need us to be us and I need to clear my mind of all the stress, confusion, dissapointment and focus on this relief I am finally feeling. I had hoped that by today we would be celebrating two lines... but instead we're just celebrating my health and well being. It's funny how things can change so fast.

Getting better all the time!

I meant to post yesterday to give a update on the OHSS progess, but time slipped away from me. So we'll have to make do with today :)

Well today I got GREAT news! Almost all the fluid from the OHSS is gone!!! My lungs still have a tiny bit, but overall I feel 100% again! We are already looking at a FET in October! I'm so excited again! I still have to go back on Friday for another OHSS mop up, ultrasound, bloodwork, but if all is good, I'll be released! YEAH!

p.s. After all of this is over I don't know that I'll ever be able to drink blue gatorade again! LOL!

OHSS UPDATE

I just got back from another scan to check on the OHSS and everything seems to be getting better except for the fluid around my left lung. That has doubled in size since yesterday! They wanted me to go to the hospital for a thorasictesis(sp?) (outpatient - not even general anesthesia) to remove the fluid, but because it's the weekend the hospital said they would have to admit me, so my Dr agreed to send me home as long as i promised if the breathing got worse i would go straight to the E R. I have to go back to the Dr again in the morning and if i don't show some improvement with the fluid in that lung, they will admit me regardless. At least the nurse got the IV in on the first try today - Praise God! but the new heparin lock makes it difficult to type.

I can't believe this is happening...

My transfer was today - or was supposed to be today. I had a good breakfast, got to the office, had my massage (which honestly wasn't as good as I had hoped) and then it was time to talk to the embryologist/andrologist. Out of the 20 eggs collected, all 20 were mature. Only 11 of them fertilized and 8 were considered viable at the time we were talking. She said the others had a chance to catch up and if they did they would be put on ice. So the two embryos they picked were the best, but they weren't perfect. Perfect meaning textbook, but they were still great quality. Day three embryos that were already 10 cells. They showed us pictures of them and everything! I was so excited!

Before the transfer could begin, Sharon had to come in and do a scan to make sure my bladder was full. Wow, forget the bladder - look at those ovaries! STILL producing follies and lots of them! And unfortunately more E2. Further analysis with the ultrasound indicated fluid in different pockets throughout my body and unfortunately in and around my lungs, and not just a little bit either. Enough for me to now be considered a severe case of OHSS. What does that mean?

It means no transfer :(

Our two perfect little embryos will have to be put on ice until another time and cryo cycle so that I can get this fluid under control.

I knew yesterday it was hard to breath, but thought I had just pulled a muscle or something. Today I know better. I have to go in for the next three to four days and get fluids and medications through an IV until this all goes away. It took two nurses and four sticks again today to get the IV in, but they put in something called a heparin lock today, basically meaning that they left the IV in my arm so I won't have to get stuck again for the next two days at least. If the fluid around my lungs doesn't go away, or if it gets worse, I will have to have a procedure done at the hospital where they go in the pockets of fluid with a needle and aspirate all of the fluid away from my heart and lungs. I just can't believe this is happening...

The Egg Retrival

MY FIRST AND ONLY EGG RETRIVAL!

First of all I got to the office at 7:30 in the morning and found out there were five of us having retrievals done. I was number three, scheduled to go back at 9:30. There was a lot of paperwork to be signed and medication stuff to go over, so all the extra time really did go by fast. Once they told DH and I to say our good-byes, a nurse took me back to put in my IV and get me prepped.

Let’s start with the IV… The anesthesiologist likes to use a 20 gauge needle, which evidentially is larger than my veins because it took four sticks before the nurses finally agreed to try a 22 gauge (a smaller needle) and the thing went right in. Luckily they used lidocaine on the area, so I really didn’t have any pain - but wowser on that!!!

While they started the IV drip I was also given human albumin. Basically from what I remember it’s a diuretic to help pull the extra estrogen and fluid from my body and help to reduce the chances of OHSS. So of course I was good friends with the potty all day - (and all night)! After my IV was running and we were waiting for the girl ahead of me to come out, they let DH come back into the recovery room where I was waiting. That was really nice of them because they don’t usually do that. I think it helped ease his nerves too, since he wasn’t going to see me again until after the retrieval. By this time we had been there a few hours already and I found out they hadn’t called him yet, and that the embryologist/andrologist would be out to see him after they took me back. It wasn’t very long after DH came back that they called for me, so my nurse Patti took DH out into the hall, soothed him a little and came back for me. I used the potty one more time and I was off to be ‘prepped’.

Being prepped basically consisted of getting a thorough cleansing with beta-dine followed by a complete rinse out with water. Before they started, they gave me a drug that was supposed to help me relax and make me sleepy, but instead it was like an instant espresso! I was asking a million questions a minute and the nurses all started laughing at me! I was a little nervous about the reverse reaction of the drug, but the cleaning was over in no time, with very little uncomfortable- ness and then Doctor Robin finally walked in. I was going to speak to her but the anesthesiologist said here we go… and I remember the room going blurry and then nothing!

The actual egg retrieval went fairly smooth I suppose. I don’t have any other retrievals to compare it to, so I have to assume it did. The whole process took about an hour and a half to complete. Do you remember me saying how my ovaries were sitting on my spine? Well after they put me to sleep they used the ultrasound probe and external pressure to position the ovaries to where they could get to the follies. The end result – bad internal bruising. My intestines are very bruised up and my back hurts worse than any of the rest of it. They were able to move them enough to retrieve 20 eggs though! I was ecstatic about that!!! Before the retrieval I was in hopes, and had been told that I would be able to go back to work today, but unfortunately I just couldn’t. Yesterday after I got home the pain started getting really intense and I started going right through Oxycontin like it was candy. Today I’ve done much better and I haven’t had the first one! But honestly, right now is really the first time I’ve even been able to sit up. I’m still sore and it’s going to take some time for everything to get back to where it’s happy, but I’m just happy I was asleep through all of that!

While I was out cold– I must have bit my tongue. There is a big chunk of it tore open on the side and it is very swollen and sore too. The doctor also said I was very active while under and they had to restrain me… I know I have a new bruise underneath my chin, and it’s probably from where the nurses were keeping my head back while I was trying to move around. I heard that the girl before me ripped her IV out while she was under and started to come too prematurely since we were on unconscious twilight sedation. That scared the crap out of me!

Today I got the fertilization report from the phone tree message – but I haven’t talked to anyone in person. The message said that out of the 20 eggs retrieved, 11 fertilized naturally, so no ICSI! AND they were able to move all 11 of them to the incubator! YEA!!! Eleven fertilized and are viable so far! We are super elated about that! I am expecting a call tonight setting up a time for our transfer. Overall I’m glad I did it, but now I’m super glad this part is over!

...kissing ovaries...

Yesterdays ultrasound again revealed about 50-60 follies and about 20 that 'could' be mature by tomorrows retrieval. There were several that were already mature, but I fear they will be too mature by retrieval. It was really hard to tell from the screen what was what in there. Even the tech had a hard time, and honestly she's good at keeping them seperated. My ovaries are so swollen that they are now kissing each other and are squished up where they meet. They are also pushed up against my spine. (ugh). I did the HCG shot last night and I'm to be there at 7:30 in the a.m. for retrieval. They will put me completely under, move my ovaries off of my spine by using external pressure and the ultrasound probe, then they will do a mock transfer, sketch out the directions of my cervix and finally retrieve the eggs. The whole thing is supposed to take an hour. Dh will not be allowed in the room until I'm out of recovery, which stinks, but I guess they have to do what they have to do. I'm guessing he'll be doing his part while I'm under, but no word on that really. I also start the Medrol, the doxycycline, the Estradial pills, vaginal prometrium AND the progesterone in oil shots tomorrow! YIKES! My ovaries today are extremely painful, and my back hurts like it never has. I can't seem to get comfortable in any position I lay in. The nurses said it's a lot like what back labor feels like in the beginning... ugh. Anyhow I'm extremely nervous about tomorrow, and the anesthesia, and the retrieval, the fertilization report, all the meds.... EVERYTHING! Transfer will then be on Thursday following a 30 minute massage (that will be nice) and then I have a 24hr flat on back bed rest afterwards. Beta is scheduled for Oct 2nd.

Pray for me girls!

Just a little longer now...

The ultrasound this morning was quick and easy, but I'm still not ready for the HCG trigger...
I have another appt tomorrow morning and most likely I'll trigger tomorrow night or Sunday.
I have a few follies already mature, at least a 17 and a 20, but I have a large group moving up, and they want those eggs to mature too before the ER.
As for the meds, they dropped my Follistim back to 25iu for now. I'm sure they will call later to up my dose again. I think the nurse gives me instructions for 25iu until the RE can look over the u/s pics and E2 results, then I get a new set of instructions over the phone.

I feel good. Yesterday was a good day too! My ovary must have found a happy place to grow. Today I was told they are about 2.5-3 inches in diameter, so yeah big plums, but at least they don't feel like grapefruit anymore! :)

It's like a yo-yo!

AFM - I know I'm crazy with all the hormones and I was lmao at the thought of me crying in chick-fil-a yesterday. I'm such a nut! lol!

Anyways, my RE must have not liked the the way my follies reacted to the drop in meds because now I'm back up to three shots a day. My Follistim was raised back up to 100iu, and they put me back on one vial of repronex, keeping the lupron the same... We'll see tomorrow what it did. But today I feel good. That left ovary must have moved off my spine a bit, because I don't feel any pain there today! YIPEE!

Hormones to tears

I am just getting back to the office from my u/s and e2 check this morning and I am just an emotional train wreck. After my appointment we went to chick-fil-a and I wanted something off their lunch menu, and when they told me they were still serving breakfast, that it would be a 20 minute wait, I just started tearing up! I had to walk away from the counter cause I just couldn’t stop it!!! I think the hormones are finally getting the best of me!!!
Anyhow, the 19 follies that I had on Monday must have responded slowly to the drop in Follistim because today I only have one at 17mm one at 16mm one at 15 two at 14 and the rest are still between 9 and 12. They only counted and measured 40 follies, but most were still small ones. On top of that they’ve lowered my dose again to 25iu and will have me back for another u/s and e2 check on Friday morning – so no ER for me on Friday! :( She said most likely I will either trigger Friday night or Saturday night so ER will be either Sunday or Monday with a 3 day transfer. I also found out that the pain I was having is coming from the fact that my left ovary is swollen to about the size of a large plum and is sitting against my spine. That is making both my back and my ovary very sore.
I asked about E2 levels from Monday – they were 848, but I wasn’t feeling any pain then… I wonder what it will come back today? Also I found out about the scant fluid in the cul-de-sac. That’s the area between your uterus and your rectum – basically free space. She said that it is common and that they have to document it so that they can tell if OHSS is happening. Scant fluid can be natural all the time.

One more thing I found interesting today – MY HOROSCOPE…
“Pressure, what pressure?! The tension you're feeling right now in your life will completely disappear if you just give yourself some time here and there today to process what you're going through. There is no reason to panic, no reason to worry. Take a deep breath, and you will slowly feel your positive thinking building back up to effective levels. And once that happens, you'll actually start to feel some enthusiasm for what you are doing right now.”

Down to 2!

Well as of last night, the RE officially dropped the Repronex shot from my repertoire of medicines. So only two shots a day now! She also dropped my Follistim from 150 iu down to 75iu. At first I thought it was because I was stimming too fast. Now I'm starting to wonder if it was all because of my E2 levels rising too quickly, for I think I'm really starting to feel the E2 in my system now. To be honest, I have really felt like crud all day today and it has shown in just about everything I've had my hands in today... and I'm afraid it's just going to get worse, as I fear this is the onset of OHSS. The RE's office doesn't give me my E2 numbers, but at my appt tomorrow I'm going to ask for them.

Let's cross our fingers and toes and pray that this results in a BFP and not OHSS!!!

Grow Follies Grow

So I'm up to three shots a day now and I don't even let them phase me. Yes, sometimes they hurt or bleed, but I can't let that stand in my way now!!! The shots are hard, but the IVF diet is the hardest! No carbs, no sugar, no sugar substitute, no dairy, no cold foods... They could have basically said ONLY EAT HORMONE FREE MEAT... ugh. Even a meat and potatoes girl needs a good roll on the side.





As for appointments, I had my first E2 check and ultrasound after four days of stims and I already have 19 follies that measure somewhere between 9mm and 12mm. There were even more that were smaller and probably won't catch up! At this rate however, we are definitely looking at an early retrieval - possibly even on Friday!!! YIKES! I can't believe we are so close! I'll know more tonight when I get the results and the new dosage for the meds. If not, I'm sure I'll find out at Wednesday mornings appointment.

and yes - I feel like I'm carrying grapefruits where my ovaries ought to be!!!





I never posted this picture so I thought I'd share my meds table. This is a picture I took as I unpacked my meds when they came from the pharmacy. Keep in mind this is only the first round, not including any refills that will be sent later!!!

SO TODAY IT STARTS

As much time as it seems we have spent testing and waiting, today we officially started our IVF cycle. The morning didn't start off on the best note, as DH and I had gone at it the night before and there was still a lot of tension between us. Honestly we both tossed and turned and slept horribly under all the stress of this darn thing. Dh's appointment was supposed to be at 8:30 this morning (had to provide another sample) and of course traffic had to be the worst I have ever seen it! We finally pulled up a little before nine, and of course the lab had already took the next patient. Luckily after putting me in near tears, the receptionist finally called him back, and as soon as they called him, they called me for my 9:30 appointment. This was for the baseline ultrasound, or CD3 ultrasound, just to make sure that all the hormone levels looked good, and to get a head count on possible follies coming up in the next two weeks. A little scare to start with, there were two huge cysts sitting there on my right ovary, so I had to have blood work done to see what was going on with them. So like I was saying, the morning didn't start off real well. The good news is they don't seem to be functional, which means we were able to proceed. They'll have to keep an eye on them regardless.

So after the quick look at the ovaries, and the sample was given, we got an opportunity to talk to Patti about my meds and to Aaron, who is the embryologist/Andrologists who will be handling our babies. We asked a ton of questions and I really felt better about the whole thing after meeting with him and having the assurance that someone competent is handling such a important matter. After we drove them mad with questions, we spent a little time in the business office signing the loan papers for a mere fifteen grand - such a small price to pay if this works...

Tonight I took the Lupron like before, and I started the Follistim at 150 iu and 2 vials of Repronex. The Follistim gave me an immediate headache that only two extra strength Tylenol helped, and I ran into a bit of a problem with the Repronex. When I went to mix the vials, I realized they hadn't sent me the needles! They sent plenty of tips, but no syringe to put the tips on!!! Luckily I was able to use the syringes that are for the PIO later in the cycle. I also was calculating the amount of meds I'm taking, and YIKES, I only have enough Repronex to last until MONDAY!!! I will have to get on the phone ASAP and try to get more of that sent to me!!!

But nevertheless I took the meds, and now I just have to wait until Monday for my next ultrasound and blood work. If all goes as planned we may be looking at a ER (Egg Retrieval) on 9/15 with a three day transfer to follow.

I just can't believe this is it.