Monday, January 26, 2009


Sunday, November 30, 2008

Friday was my five year anniversary and I have to say it was too bittersweet. My husband is the best man in the whole world for me, and I love him dearly for all he does. However I will never recommend a Drs. appt on your anniversary no matter what it is! For me, it was another bad news report. The baby still had a heartbeat, but it was only 83. My Dr. said we were too close because anything under 80 at this point and 99% of those would miscarry. If the heartbeat ranged from 80-100 the rate of miscarriage only dropped to 40%. So if that was the only issue we were facing, then I would have a 60% chance of carrying this baby to birth. BUT - that's not all. The sac is still small, and neither it nor the baby are growing on schedule. Not only are they behind, they only grew two days worth in a total of four days time and the sac is too small for the baby. To make it even more bittersweet I started bleeding again. The ultrasound showed the hematoma had shrunk, and was minimal, so I have no idea if this bleeding is still from that, or if it has already started. I have accepted that I will most likely loose this baby, and again I'm at peace with it for now. After my appointment, my oh so optimistic Dr. gave me three options.1) wait it out2) medicine to start contractions3) Aspiration of the tissueSo I know if He's given up - there is little hope. For now we are waiting.I have another appointment on Friday, if nothing changes before then. We'll be praying for a miracle!I have learned one thing from all of this. At least I can be pregnant.

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