Blowing hot air. That's about all I do these days when I think about having a child. Knowing that this ride would be nothing short of a hair raising roller coaster ride, it is definitely in one of it's lows. After all this time wishing and waiting, we are finally going to have a better shot of conceiving a child together and WHAT? We are suddenly okay with not having a child!!! I think more than anything else, we are scared. This is the closest we have come thus far to getting that elusive bfp and it's really scary that we are trying to change a great thing we have going for us! Still deep down, there's nothing I want more. I want a family, of more than just us. Someone - a child - made from us, from our love for each other, who has the best of both of us. Someone to grow up and carry on our traditions, our stories and our family name. Is that too much to ask?
Now I'm just being selfish.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
VACATION
So I've now officially tried the 'just relax' and it will happen theory. Yeah right. Well whether it happened or not, I did just return from a great vacation. Of course AF tried to ruin even that for me, showing up the day we're supposed to leave!!! But that's just expected I suppose! Luckily she was in and out in a hurry and didn't ruin the whole trip.
When we got home I was a little worried because both my cell phone and my house phone were filled with messages from caremark, asking me to return their calls. Caremark is a part of my insurance company that handles the prescriptions, so I called them back yesterday to see what was so urgent that they left three messages a day to get me. Well it turns out that Dr. Robin
(my RE) decided to go ahead and call in the prescription for the injectables and caremark just wanted to let me know they're ready to be shipped whenever I want them. I don't know exactly how much the trigger shot is, but the follistim she said was $900 a pen. ouch! However, she then proceeded to tell me that part of the medication IS covered under my plan and I will only have to pay a $5 co-pay for the trigger shot, and a $30 co-pay for the follistim pen! I asked her to double check that again, because I was under the impression that those meds were NOT covered! So as you can imagine I was nearly jumping for joy over the news. HOWEVER it does comes with limitations. The plan only covers $5,000 lifetime max, so that's only a couple of months worth..., especially if I need two pens a month! Agh! Now I just have to talk all of this over with my DH and figure out how were going to handle the news!
When we got home I was a little worried because both my cell phone and my house phone were filled with messages from caremark, asking me to return their calls. Caremark is a part of my insurance company that handles the prescriptions, so I called them back yesterday to see what was so urgent that they left three messages a day to get me. Well it turns out that Dr. Robin
(my RE) decided to go ahead and call in the prescription for the injectables and caremark just wanted to let me know they're ready to be shipped whenever I want them. I don't know exactly how much the trigger shot is, but the follistim she said was $900 a pen. ouch! However, she then proceeded to tell me that part of the medication IS covered under my plan and I will only have to pay a $5 co-pay for the trigger shot, and a $30 co-pay for the follistim pen! I asked her to double check that again, because I was under the impression that those meds were NOT covered! So as you can imagine I was nearly jumping for joy over the news. HOWEVER it does comes with limitations. The plan only covers $5,000 lifetime max, so that's only a couple of months worth..., especially if I need two pens a month! Agh! Now I just have to talk all of this over with my DH and figure out how were going to handle the news!
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