Not ectopic! Now what?

The verdict is in: NOT ECTOPIC!!!

That is such a huge relief for us, but still a long way to go. As soon as the u/s tech put the wand in, it was right there - you couldn't help but see our little bean. She didn't say too much, but answered all our questions (what is that and that and that... you know what I mean) and the whole ultrasound was to rule out any ectopic so she spent a lot of time looking around the ovaries and everywhere. Thank goodness she didn't find anything else. My cervix was VERY tender though, and that caught her off guard. I hope there's nothing wrong with it...

The bad news is this. The sac that's there is small. Too small for a six week pregnancy. I know that - they know that- but nobody is saying it. However, my Dr. is very optimistic that this could be viable, but told us not to get excited yet, but don't start mourning just yet either. Basically I have to play out this week in limbo. They didn't see a fetal pole or the embryo, but he said it was because the sac was too small just yet. The gestational sac was averaged at 5.1mm and the yolk sac at 2.4mm. They were both perfect and round and looked good for a four week pregnancy (hmmm... I'm at week 6). He said you can't see anything more than those two sacs until the gestational sac is around 12-15mm. At 15mm they expect to see an embryo and fetal heartbeats. He expects the sacs to grow 1mm a day and I have to come back next week for a comparison measurement. He also did more blood work today and said we should know by the end of our next appointment which way this pregnancy was headed.So... I'm pregnant officially for at least one more week...

Beta number 3

Thursday, November 13, 2008

It's in at 183. It's so hard not to cry right now. Of course it had to be Kelly who called with the results. As soon as she said her name I knew it was bad news. She's always the one with bad news. So with only a 22% increase in 48 hours this pregnancy is either ectopic or doomed. I have an appointment on Monday to see which it is, although I'm having some minor cramping this afternoon and may not make it to Monday. My orders were at the first sign of blood or heavy cramping to get to the Emergency Room ASAP! I hope I don't end up there, but I very well may. I'm just wondering... is there any hope at all for this baby? You know God is a miracle working God...

More Numbers to Worry Over

Monday, November 10, 2008

Today I had my second beta draw. The results are not looking too promising. They only rose from 96 on Friday to 149 today. That's a 72 hour difference and they didn't even double. My heart is breaking inside right now, not knowing whether this pregnancy will miscarry or not, whether it is ectopic or not, and not knowing if this child inside of me right now may be the only child I will ever carry...and if I will ever get to hold this child... More labs will be drawn on the 12th.

Beta numbers

Friday, November 7, 2008

So today I cruised the net for any hope I could find at all for low beta numbers. Mine today at 16dpo was 96. I've considered this pretty low compared to most of what I've found out there. The spotting of dark dry matter still continues and now I'm worried all this excitement has been in vain... Monday I will have another blood test and see how the numbers are doubling. I hope they go way up!

Steak and Crab

Thursday, November 6, 2008

So to celebrate the news of our pregnancy, Jeffrey and I cooked a celebratory 'yea we're pregnant' meal. STEAK and CRAB! Since we suspected the lines we'd been seeing on the cheap tests were in fact bfps, when we went to town to get groceries, we picked up a FRER (to make sure we weren't imagining lines) and bought three pretty steaks (one for each of us I guess lol!) and an Alaskan King Crab Claw. He had never had Alaskan King Crab so it was a very special treat for him! After yesterday mornings test, we had a feast fit for a king for supper! I even took pictures for mementos! LOL!!!

What about bleeding???

So now that the high has come down a little, (not much I grant you), I'm starting to get slightly worried about the bleeding episode I had on Tuesday. It was only during one bathroom break, but it was heavy, bright fresh red blood. If I had been expecting AF I would have sworn it was her, but it was gone as quick as it came! This morning however - I passed a medium size black to brown sticky clot. Is this leftover blood from Tuesday? Or is it something more? This mornings internet cheapie is still no darker than all the ones from earlier this week and I suppose I will just have to wait and be patient to find out what my beta is tomorrow...I hate waiting.

Pink never looked so good!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


So I had to come share the beauty of what I saw this morning. Two beautiful lines. No questions, no guessing, no squinting... They were there just as pretty as could be! Pink never looked so good! There is so much to think about now. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with Amazon.com and see what books are recommended and see if I can pick up a few for a good deal. I don't even like to read, but I'm looking forward to reading about this!!! Friday's test seems so far away!

Backposts

It's been some time since I've posted on this blog. There have been several reasons, none of which are important anymore, but now I'm going to try and post some thoughts I've been keeping since I've found out the results of my FET transfer.

Little Boogers

Friday's beta feels like a life time away. I'm driving myself crazy trying to find things to do and in the meanwhile I thought I'd share a pic of my little boogers the day they met mom. :)
Life is a wonder isn't it!